Blog: Happy Thanksgiving to All! - 2013-11-28

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F379.png Happy Thanksgiving to All! November 28, 2013, John P. Capitalist, Reasoned.Life

Programming note: Today is the beginning of the US Thanksgiving Day holiday, a celebration of all things truly American: hours of epic gluttony followed by sitting in front of the television watching people in colorful armored uniforms colliding vigorously with each other, playing a slightly different version of "football" than that practiced in most other countries.

The next day is an even bigger holiday, and it is even more uniquely American. Called "Black Friday," people flock to shopping malls at improbably early hours to run up the balance on their credit cards, spending money they don't actually have to buy the latest soon-to-be-obsolete consumer electronics gadgets and tons of clothes to overload their already bulging closets.

Thanksgiving is a little different for us in Global Capitalism HQ, however: the supermodels are not so big on the gluttony aspect and have no understanding of American football. But they sure know how to shop for clothes on Black Friday. So they spend Thursday stretching, practicing their martial arts moves, and checking the traction of their running shoes to make sure they can corner nimbly in the aisles at Barneys and all those trendy little boutiques in the Village to beat out all the other supermodels racing for the best deals. When it comes to bone-crunching collisions, American football players have nothing on the supermodels going for a half-off Vera Wang number on the "better dresses" floor at Bergdorf's. They won't have me to supervise them; the jet has already jetted off to the ancestral homeland, where I'll be communing with the waves of coniferous trees at the Capitalist Parents' waterfront estate and eating healthy.