COSMIC DUST - 2000-05-12
A million monkeys with a million crayons would be hard-pressed in a million years to create anything as cretinous as "Battlefield Earth." This film version of L. Ron Hubbard's futuristic novel is so breathtakingly awful in concept and execution, it wouldn't tax the smarts of a troglodyte. And when it comes to star John Travolta's performance, well, hammy William Shatner's hairpiece is more convincing.
In the future, turkey cognoscenti will be heard to say: " 'Ishtar,' pishtar! You haven't endured pain till you've seen 'Battlefield Earth.' "
The author, better known as the founder of the Church of Scientology, set his post-apocalyptic thriller in Denver in the year 3000. Humans remain civilized but are now an endangered species. Most were wiped out during the nine-minute war between Earth and invaders from the planet Psychlo. The cities are in ruins (at least Denver is), the government's kaput and the Psychlods are stripping Earth of her natural resources.