Conservatives sure party members who supported Scheer and Bernier last time will now choose a centrist leader with mass appeal - 2020-01-14

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F0.png Conservatives sure party members who supported Scheer and Bernier last time will now choose a centrist leader with mass appeal January 14, 2020, Luke Gordon Field, satire, The Beaverton

OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party leadership contest officially gets underway party insiders expressed confidence that the same members who last time supported libertarian, racist uncle Maxime Bernier and personification of a t-shirt tucked into jeans Andrew Scheer will this time choose a charming, well-spoken leader who can attract voters from across the political spectrum.

"We know what we need. Someone who can win the GTA and Montreal suburbs, and who doesn't alienate the country with extreme right-wing views," said one anonymous official. "And even though our members are overwhelmingly people who hate the GTA and Montreal and hold extreme right-wing views, we are confident they will make the correct choice."

"I mean, it's not like they're going to vote for Pierre Poilievre or something right? Right?!"

Wikipedia cite:
{{cite news | first = Luke Gordon | last = Field | title = Conservatives sure party members who supported Scheer and Bernier last time will now choose a centrist leader with mass appeal | url = https://www.thebeaverton.com/2020/01/conservatives-sure-party-members-who-supported-scheer-and-bernier-last-time-will-now-choose-a-centrist-leader-with-mass-appeal/ | work = satire | publisher = The Beaverton | date = January 14, 2020 | accessdate = January 17, 2020 }}