FUTURE SHOCK: Scientology's secrets need to be taken seriously now that the alien religion has landed in Scotland - 2019-04-07
LIKE serial killers and small men, Scientologists like to be taken seriously. Some of them even wear suits – civilised society's most familiar reality distortion technique. With a matching blazer and kecks, any rogue can take advantage of the subconscious mind's meek subservience to authoritative garb, with instant wisdom and sincerity bestowed upon the wearer.
Yet, even the subterfuge of Savile Row or Burtons' finest can't protect a Scientologist from societal mockery. And certainly not in cynicism's ground zero – Scotland – where the church has now inexplicably chosen to purchase a large building in the heart of Edinburgh, after failing in its bid to occupy the city's historic Lothian Chambers.
If its new Westfield House property is destined to become one of the religion's infamously tacky headquarters, the sight of Auld Reekie's skirted men blowing into sheep's stomachs to summon the dirges of genocides past will only become slightly less ridiculous.