Hey, you guys, the new Scientology E-meter is a hit! - 2014-04-01
Oh, you naysayers. Sure, you made fun of Scientology's new E-meters, the ones that were made years ago and then gathered dust in a warehouse. The gleaming machines that David Miscavige expected every Scientologist to buy at $5,000 each (and a second one as a backup). The machines that still, 60 years after Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard first introduced them to the organization, remain extremely simplistic contraptions that measure fluctuations in skin galvanism. Or, if you're a Scientologist, they read your mind! You cannot defeat them! They can see into your soul!
Anyway, the first reviews are in, and we are happy to announce that the Mark Ultra VIII E-meter is blowing expectations out of the water. How do we know? Because Bridge Publications tells us so!