How insidious is Scientology? Cathy Mullins on how she got sucked back in after escaping - 2021-07-29

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F347.png How insidious is Scientology? Cathy Mullins on how she got sucked back in after escaping July 29, 2021, Cathy Mullins, Underground Bunker

Last time, I mentioned that when my mother went off to Saint Hill in the mid-1960s, she left me the phone number of the Scientology org in Phoenix and I began taking courses there. But I left something out: I met the love of my life there, Kim Hawkins. And when I came back a "Clear" after my own trip to Saint Hill, my friends were very impressed. They thought I had superpowers or something. A few of them, including Kim, let me audit them.

And then, love or my life or not, I kissed Kim goodbye and went off to join the Sea Org in early 1968. Kim went back to LA where his brother Jefferson Hawkins had also been introduced to Scientology. They were excited to share it with each other. The brothers went to Scotland and then Denmark to work for this thing called "Pubs Org" — where they published Hubbard's books. When I arrived back at my mother's house after escaping AOLA (1969, which I wrote about last time) I found out where Kim was and wrote to him. I told him I was pregnant, not married and living at my mom's. He jumped on a plane and came to Phoenix to marry me. He's that kind of guy. Unfortunately, I was overwhelmed with the personal crap that Scientology had never made a dent in. Eventually my mother told Kim he should probably leave. So he did. Five years passed; we didn't write or talk on the phone. But in the summer of 1975 I was asked to house-sit in LA, so I dropped him a note to say I'd be seeing him soon. I figured we'd get married and live happily ever after. Oops. Kim had joined the Sea Org. At some point he told me he couldn't leave what he was doing. Not getting married now. Nope. I went back to Arizona, continued my education and bringing up my daughter, and forgot about the love of my life. It sounds awful and cruel but it just had to be that way.

In 1993 I was drinking with a friend and talking about Kim. Again. She'd heard the story about a million times. Finally she cut me off: "Piss or get off the pot!" Oh. Ok. I knew that Kim was the only one for me and that if he didn't want to be with me I would be better off knowing it so I could just get on with my life. But 18 years had gone by. We hadn't kept in touch at all, nothing, no letters, no phone calls. How was I supposed to find him? He could have been anywhere. That was the summer that Sleepless in Seattle came out. As I watched it I knew what I had to do. I simply had to find him. I started with L.A.-area phone books, looking up Scientology organization numbers. I didn't call any of them, not in the beginning. I also wrote down a few numbers for people with the name Hawkins, still not making any calls. I was terrified. What if he said "Cathy who?" or "Oh please, not again." Or "It's great to hear from you, I know you'll just love my wife and kids, can't wait for you to meet them."

Wikipedia cite:
{{cite news | first = Cathy | last = Mullins | title = How insidious is Scientology? Cathy Mullins on how she got sucked back in after escaping | url = | work = Underground Bunker | date = July 29, 2021 | accessdate = August 1, 2021 }}