Leaving Scientology's 'Sea Org' isn't easy, and some turn to desperate measures - 2019-03-30
Why do people do extreme things to disqualify themselves from the Sea Org? You've heard harrowing stories about Sea Org members making suicide threats and suicide attempts, making hazardous attempts to run away, and some have even threatened to go to the press just to get themselves out of the Sea Org. A Sea Org member who has been brought to the brink and does not want to be there anymore cannot simply give a two week notice and leave. Leaving the Sea Org for some can require drastic measures. Let's explore why that would be.
When a Sea Org member makes a run for it, in Scientology language that's known as a "blow." I myself went through it many times over the 32 years I was in the church. Many of them were when I was a child, but still many more as a grown up not wanting to be in the Sea Org any more. I actually managed to escape many times. But with my only parent being in the Sea Org, and having no one else to turn to (that I knew of) in my own family, I came back, head held low, ready for my "ethics" handlings. I must have run away hundreds of times, only to come back, because where would I or could I go? For me the world was an unfamiliar, and even scary place. I had been told people outside Scientology were not aware, that they were blind and could not see things as we did.
After one of these blows, there's always a "handling" done. This applies to anyone who tries to leave and is recovered. I went through the ethics conditions and "found out" (again and again) that Scientology was the best thing in the world, and I should help them, not harm them by trying to leave. Living conditions no good? It's my fault, and I need to work harder in Scientology and the Sea org to fix it. And so I put my nose to the grindstone once again and got back to it. And I forgot why I wanted to leave. Well, I didn't forget, I got too busy "saving the world" to remember I didn't want to be there.