When will the Scientologists find the cure for craziness? - 2008-01-18
Yes, dispelling those baseless rumours of tenuous sanity once and for all, we have Mister Tom Cruise, whose leaked Scientology indoctrination video has blanketed the internets and forced the question: which soldier of fortune should we send into the compound to rescue Katie Holmes? Lost in Showbiz hereby makes a case for Seagal. But for those still wondering whether this need really involve knives, gratutious nudity and the growling of "What kind of babbling bullshit is this?" (ref: Under Siege), I say: you haven't see the videoclip yet, have you? This one's gone way beyond a negotiated settlement.